Where do I begin to tell a story of how great a love can be?

I don’t know where to begin. A lot of people say the wedding day happens in a whirl, that you can’t remember anything and everything is a blur.

It is not. I remembered. I can still remember. I told myself the moment I woke up that day: I am present in this moment. And I made sure I was. I guess it comes with my package – an OC person like me HAS to remember, I can’t not. I remember not finishing my morning cereal, KL knocking on the wrong room, the unbearable heat, the ticking in my head as I waited for the unity candle that never came (ugh), what I felt as I exited the chapel and saw all our friends. I remember the anxiety right before we entered the reception hall, the mad dash for the garter that I forgot to wear, Shiva mouthing “100” indicating the worth (in peso) of my dance move haha. Whatever I saw, smelled, touched, heard, tasted and felt are now burned in my memory. And I am thankful.

So again, where do I begin? I don’t know. The devil is in the details, and those I will discuss for the benefit of fellow brides and w@wies in a separate entry. Now, I guess I’d just like to say thank you to:

– our parents, for obvious reasons. Words cannot explain. Thank you also to our relatives who stayed on and made sure we were still alive after the chaos haha. Thanks to Tito Sel who helped take care of the tips for the waiters and other suppliers. To Tita Reg who probably shouldered a bulk of the stress without telling me. All of you, you know who you are. Special thanks to relatives who came from far-flung places to be with us.

– everyone who took part in the kuratsa! It was fun, wasn’t it? 😀 More than the bills flying around, it was the sheer experience that made it worth all those nights listening to traditional kuratsa music and practicing my kembot and hand flips. Look Ma, three years of ballet school didn’t go to waste after all.

– all our guests who took the time and effort to be there. We are truly grateful.

– to all our ninongs and ninangs! You all looked dashing and beautiful. I wished I couldv’e hugged each of you. Thanks Ninong Onal for singing. 🙂

– KL, Shiva, you are the BEST MOHs in the whole universe. Thank you for listening to my rants and tolerating my tantrums, for stepping up and taking charge, for simply being there and loving me and Mark the way sisters do. You are blood.

– Carol Luluuuuuu! You were not part of the entourage but I relied on you like you were. Thank you for all your help (and trouble shooting), and for being a true friend. We’re not 14 anymore but you still hug me the same! Love you to pieces!

– Edison, Len, Agnes, thanks for coming to my rescue. 🙂 You are friends for life.

– our office friends, who didn’t complain when we took a long period of leave haha! We hope that the fun you had erased your exasperation with our prolonged absence. 😉

– my Kule family, thank you. You truly know my heart. I hope you also know that, with or without the surprise, my heart is overflowing with lifetimes of love for you.

– my St Scho family, you are like second skin. I cannot imagine life without you. Thank you for walking with me since I was 5, 10, 15 years years old . And you’re still here. 🙂 Some of you I don’t see often, and I am grateful that you took the time to walk one step further with me. You are all part of our journey. Thanks also for the impromptu Our Father! I told you, kayo rin ang kakanta. 😉

– Camille, thank you for accepting Kuya Mark as a brother. Sabi nga ni Ate Len, hindi magbabawas, magdadagdag lang. Love you.

– Ivan, my brother. For simply being the light of my life these past 27 years. You will never wane.

I’m certain I failed to mention so many other people, but you have to forgive us, and know that we don’t feel any less grateful.

Much much love to all.

THANK YOU

Grateful, that is all we can say. Thanks to our family and friends who showed their love and support on our special day. I look at your smiling faces in the photos, and my heart bursts. Every time.

Much much love,

Mark+Lara

This is it.

15 days, and probably my last wedding fair

So I’m sitting here on a bench inside SM Megamall, listening to music from a nearby kiosk and rattling off the things we still need to accomplish.

Several steps away are the three Megatrade Halls now housing yet another wedding fair, which will run for three days and will surely make a killing.

Wow. It’s been a long time since I went to my first wedding fair. It scares and overwhelms me now as it did then. But today we went in anyway, and spent the first 15 minutes looking for a supplier we had already booked (I just wanted to leave the cheque for our last installment). I wanted to leave immediately after because I felt everything around me was spinning. But I thought, sayang naman yung entrance fee. Hehe.

So we looked for another supplier we’re thinking of getting (yes, this late. Crammers we are). That was another 20 minutes. We didn’t book the supplier in the end, and  just left. Now I’ve spent the last hour recuperating, on this bench.

Wedding fairs can be heaven and hell, I tell you. It’s like a jungle, and you have to possess a level of fierceness to survive.

Everyone is on the prowl — suppliers hiding at every corner, fellow brides and grooms determined to get the best supplier on the best date at the best price. Everyone is ready to pounce, and if you didn’t eat a proper meal before you came in then be prepared to have the energy sucked out of you. Be ready to leave defeated. That, or with an empty pocket because of impulsive bookings that you will regret one month before your wedding day.

Okay exag. But not really. It does happen. I myself am not naturally excitable, so I have to psyche myself up for a wedding fair trip. I only look forward to going when I know what I want. The rest of the time I just float by and nod absently at everything and everyone.  I advice against this, it’s very dangerous. One time while coasting by a row of wedding gowns, I was cornered by a man with a nice necktie, a winning smile and free bag, which he gave me for simply confirming that I use a credit card. The next thing I knew we were listening to a lecture about some insurance plan and a car raffle. Which had completely zero to do with our wedding.  Worse, the lecture was going to take two hours. Good thing we were scheduled to see a movie and had to leave in 5 minutes.

Don’t get me wrong, wedding fairs can be very enjoyable — when a) you have at least one year to prepare and/or b) you’ve already done your research prior to going there. Otherwise you could get killed!

Okay enough drama.  Maybe I’m just projecting because the truth is that I suck at events that require me to interact with more than 10 people. In short, you’ll have to excuse me if I put on a permanent smile and nod at everything and everyone on our wedding day. 😛

before the storm

Less than 20 days to go. So how do I feel?

Like I told a friend recently, I feel oddly calm. At least about the marriage. My running concern is: how often do I have to wash plates?

Another thought: I need a new wardrobe.

But the fact that I will be waking up next to someone I hadn’t known until five years earlier? It doesn’t bother me at all. His driving does, just a bit. Thus my first personal post-wedding project would be to practice driving. O, palakpakan naman diyan!

Okay I may be trivializing, but I do have faith that our marriage will be fun, way beyond the craziness of this wedding.

This morning I saw a video of a recently concluded Discovery Weekend. I smiled knowing how blessed those couples are, having experienced the Weekend myself.

I smiled realizing how far M and I have come — not just from the Weekend or the start of the wedding preps, but from the day we first met — and yet how fresh it all seems (more so because we both have faulty memories haha). Everyday brings something new — to laugh about, to get mad about, to think and feel, to share and give.

The road will be hard, without a doubt. But it will be beautiful.

As for the wedding…ahaha. I guess we’ll all find out in 18 days. 🙂

shoes

I have shoes!

They are not  white or cream. Yay! Love love.

They’re not strictly wedding shoes, so I told the saleslady if anyone else inquires about them, she should ask if the customer intends to use them for “Lara’s wedding”. If yes, she knows what to do. Haha!

…deliver us Oh Lord, deliver us from evil, deliver us Oh Lord, Amen. :)

Finally got the chords to Our Father. Not just any Our Father, but the St Scho version. It rocks I swear. Happiness. 😛

Big thanks, Kash!

kwistyon.

Less than a month to go. Sakit na ng bangs ko. Kahit na wala akong bangs.

So how’s my to-do list (or what’s left of it) doing so far??

– church music: left to the able hands of Shiva and Tita Am.

– one of the videos (won’t say which!):  left to the able hands of KL and Carol.

– intro video: ooh, this I gotta do. Weekend activity here we go. Will write it down now. Ok done.

– shoes: I figured this could be a last minute thing (cramming queen forevah).

– church program: halfway there.

– makeup: booked.

– escort cards: the concept is there. Execution will take one day. Calendared for mid-Feb when the guest list is final (guests, please RSVP!)

– guest list: need complete names and contact numbers. Deadline, this weekend.

My nagging question now is (and has been for months already): photobooth, or no photobooth??

Hay, tick tock, tick tock.

Q and A for Guests (by John and Benz Rana)

John and Benz founded the country’s most extensive online community of to-be-weds, Weddings At Work or W@W. I owe a lot to W@W, and I’ve learned so much from other brides (and grooms!). It’s like this safe cocoon where you can find all the good, heartwarming and fun things related to weddings. Through the network, we’ve managed to find and build relationships not only with other couples but also with our suppliers/wedding partners. I’m proud to be a W@Wie!

So without further ado, let me present some guides for guests from a couple who have been at the heart of the wedding community longer than the existence of onsite videos, chocolate fountains and trash-the-dress shoots. Hehe.

Q and A for Guests

by: John & Benz Rana

If it’s your first time attending a wedding, what follows is a simple guide of Dos & Don’ts to get through such a social event. Note that we made these questions up so allow us to be sarcastic and blunt with some of our responses to ourselves.

I got an invite but have no plans attending..

If you won’t be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their “waitlist”.

The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?

Don’t bring a date unless your invitation specifically says “and Guest.” Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple’s permission if you may bring one or noy. Don’t put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don’t really like turning down people. So how would you know if their “Yes” means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.

The invite says “Mr. & Mrs.” Could we bring our kids?

Never bring the kids unless “& Family” is indicated. Soon-to-weds don’t usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed – the kid’s and the yaya’s

But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I’m sure it’s understood that my other child is invited

Which part of the answer above didn’t you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.

But I’m breastfeeding, I’m sure my friends will understand, won’t they?

Granting that it’s an infant and he or she won’t eat at the reception – let’s even assume that your baby won’t wail at the church – the answer is still NO!
Not even if you’ve perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!

I don’t have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?

The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We’re telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you’re not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what’s listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they’re residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they’ll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.

I’m convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don’t want to give too little or too much.

That’s a hard thing to answer. It’s really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple’s shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you’re good friends of the couple’s parents, you’ll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride’s Girl Friday.

Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?

You can. BUT you shouldn’t! You are invited to THE wedding — that’s the part where they exchange their “I dos.” The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can’t be ‘received’ if you are already seated in the hall, right? “Patay-gutom” is too harsh a word and we assure you that it’s by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn’t it?

Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?

Here’s the rule: Say “Congratulations” to the groom and “Best Wishes” to the bride. The reason behind is that “congrats” implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride “caught” the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying “Good Luck!” no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.

Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don’t even know which sets of parents are whose.

Did we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!

Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say “Hello! I’m (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school’s name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company).” They usually respond with “Nice meeting you.” Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies “Hi! I’ve heard so much about you!”, simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can’t find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move

During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?

Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple’s convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests’ convenience so they won’t have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with “Eat-All-You-Can.” Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don’t worry. You can easily go for seconds.

I’m used to a Buffet setting, but what if it’s a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?

You’re on your own, pal. Watch “Pretty Woman.”

sparkle

We’ve been planning for our wedding for over a year (my gahd, di ba??), and to be frank, I’ve never felt like a real, actual bride until recently, specifically when:

1. I met Cecilio Abad and

2. we had our prenup shoot with Atty Fortun.

I know, it does sound a bit strange — that I may just have been floating through the past year in pseudo-bride mode. To be fair, wearing my engagement ring reminds me everyday of where we’re headed (I honestly feel a bit naked whenever it’s off my finger). And surely, the little DIY projects, the signing of suppliers’ contracts and my ravenous online searches for the perfect wedding all contribute to the buildup of momentum for the big day. But I don’t know. It’s also just…exhausting. I have a full-time job, a major life-and-career project that needs equal care, attention and passion, and a constant struggle with self-proclaimed neurosis (hahaha)…ah, maybe it takes another bride to understand what I’m feeling.

With all this craziness happening (half of it in my head), there are just some things that make the heart skip a beat. Like Cecil’s sketch and first fitting (one day after he took my measurements! kamusta naman ang galing). Or everytime Atty Fortun showed us the outcome of a pose right there in his camera (took my breath away, literally).

Perhaps there have just been too many confusing combinations of highs and lows in the past year, that I now completely embrace the one or two beautiful things that come without any complication, sarcasm, judgment or fear. Thank God for these gems. More of them, Lord? 🙂